A Week's Worth of Laughter (Week Three: Dieter's Psalm)
Strict is my diet. I must not want. It maketh me to lie down at night hungry. It leadeth me past the refrigerator. It trieth my will power. It leadeth me in paths of starvation for my figure's sake. Yea, though I walk through the aisle of pastries, I will but no sweet rolls for they are fattening. The cakes and pies, they tempt me. Before me is a table set with green beans and lettuce. I filleth my stomach with liquids. My day's quota runneth over. Surely calories and weight charts will follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the fear of scales forever!
Recipe for a Good Day
Take two parts unselfishness and one part of patience. Work together. Add plenty of industry. Lighten with good spirits and sweeten with kindness. Put in smiles as thick as raisins in plum pudding and bake by the warmth which steams from a loving heart. If this fails to make a good day, the fault is not with the recipe, but with the cook.