I thought I was depressed.
I would sit on the bathroom floor with my head in my hands and cry. Because I thought I was a disappointment. Because I couldn't handle the stress. Because I thought I was better off having never been born at all.
I wouldn't have killed myself, but sometimes I wished someone else would go ahead and do it for me.
This was the stage in my life where at thirteen, my mottoes were "we're all a little bit depressed" and "depression is just the thorn in my side."
But I'm not in that place anymore. Sure, you can still find me on the bathroom floor crying from time to time, but instead of being consumed by dark thoughts, I'll pray.
I've learned something from all this...and it's that NO ONE is made to be depressed. God's purpose for our lives is not that we should live in darkness but that we should live in the light that is His Son Jesus Christ.
I know a lot of you struggle with anxiety and depression. I know you wake up in the middle of the night crying. I know you spend days in a dark daze. I know you've gone to counseling, talked to your parents and pastors, and cried out to God...but still nothing changes.
There IS a way out.
Every morning, every night, every time you feel the oppression coming, TELL THE DEVIL NO.
Devil, you are not welcome in my mind any longer. You have no place among my thoughts. You have no hold on me or my friends and family. For IT IS WRITTEN that if I submit to God and His design for me to live in peace and resist you by the power of the Holy Spirit, you WILL flee.
So begone, Satan. Get thee behind me.
Fear, you have no power here, because I have been given a sprit of POWER and LOVE, and do you know what? THE PERFECT LOVE OF MY SAVIOR CASTS OUT ALL FEAR.
So get out of my mind, get out of my heart. I'm not feeding you any more of my life. I'm walking in love and freedom now.
Anxiety, God told me not to worry. He told me that He is my provider, He is my rock, and He is my defender.
So it doesn't sound like there is any place for you anymore. I AM TRUSTING IN GOD.
Suicide, I want you to know that my life in infinitely precious to God Most High. He created me PERFECTLY. He knew me and loved me before I was even born. He has a purpose and a destiny for me - and that's NOT to die. You, devil, have NO power over life and death. Only my God appoints and controls that time, and I'm not giving into your lies.
So stay away from my spirit. I know you're after it - and my heart, my soul, my body and mind - because I am full of something you don't want in the world, something that messes up all your plans for destruction: Jesus.
Jesus Christ gave me power over ALL the power of the enemy. And that means I have power over DEPRESSION, FEAR, ANXIETY, and SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
That means I have the power to tell you NO, I'm not wasting my life in darkness. NO, I'm not giving in.
NO, I AM NOT DEPRESSED, IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
There is power in the tongue, my friends. A power greater than a two-edged sword. A power God gave us. And it's time to use that power to BREAK EVERY CHAIN. So say these words aloud, for yourself, your family, your friends. Tell the devil NO.
You weren't meant to be depressed. You weren't made to live your God-given life in darkness. Choose LIGHT. Choose LIFE. And tell the devil NO.
I love you. You were on my heart the moment I woke up this morning, and that's why I'm writing this. I have prayed for you and cried for you that you would be delivered, because I know you can.
This is my prayer for you.