top of page
  • Writer's pictureGrace A. Johnson

What If...We're Fighting the Wrong Way?

I’m going to begin this post with a warning. Y’all will probably need it, trust me.

This post will hurt some feelings, step on some toes, possibly tick a few people if you find your toes begin to cramp as you read this post, I’d advise you to step away (or, I mean, if you can take it, keep reading, just do so only with the intention of learning more about my opinions rather than starting an argument).

This post will definitely be a rant, and as such I cannot guarantee it will make any sense whatsoever. Very few of my thoughts or feelings do.

This post is written from the perspective of a die-hard romantic who believes in the importance of marriage and sex—so excuse me if I’m biased in some way, misinterpret something, or present a view that doesn’t align with yours. These are my feelings. My thoughts. The burden on my heart. And I had to get it out somehow. I’m only sharing this because I believe that I’m not the only one (or at least I hope I’m not) who feels this way, because I hope to generate awareness for those whose views differ from the vast majority, and because someone out there may have never seen things from this perspective and this post may be an eye-opener for them.

Now, without further ado, I present my ranting, offensive thoughts. * bows *

We live in a sexualized culture. A culture that doesn’t value purity—in fact, it makes fun of purity, virginity, and abstinence as if there’s no reason for them to exist. A culture that has “redefined” marriage to mean whatever you want it to mean. A culture that insists that your body has no other purpose than to be used and defiled. A culture that not only allows but supports procedures that realign the way God made you. A culture that pushes their agenda on three-year-olds.

There is no doubt in my mind that this...y’all, this is more vile and wicked than anything the world has seen before.

But how do we, as Christians, combat this?

I don’t know about you, but I have seen an increasing amount of young Christians who shun marriage, who idolize the concept of purity, and who are revolted by the idea of God-ordained romance.

Now, this isn’t everyone. Everyone fights this kind of evil in a different way—some by staying quiet, some by condemnation, and others by doing a complete 180. And I’m not saying those methods are ineffective or even inherently wrong. I’m just wondering..

What if we’re fighting the wrong way?

We are so consumed by the idea that we must fight against the culture, push against the world, and break away from those who disagree with the Word of God. But that’s not what God has called us to do. He didn’t command us to fight people or even the government. He said to love your neighbor and respect authority. He said that our battle isn’t with flesh and blood or corrupt politicians and laws. He said we wrestle with powers and principalities, the rulers of the darkness of this world, and spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6.12).

More than that, He said that we should take heart. Why? Because He has overcome the world.

Not will overcome. He already has. It’s done. The world has been overcome.

So then what are we supposed to do?

Live like it.

Instead of living in direct conflict with the world, why don’t we start living as if there is no conflict? As if there is no world?

I told you this wouldn’t make any sense.

Let me backtrack.

Instead of being against romantic love as God created it, not getting married, and viewing sex as thoroughly evil, why don’t we give the world an example of how God created us to live? Why don’t we go back to the Garden of Eden, where it was one man and one woman, united in love and God-ordained marriage?

My point is this: God made romantic love. God made marriage. God made sex.

He created those things. And it was good. That’s what He said. He looked down upon this amazing life He gave us—a wonderful gift that only exists here in this lifetime—and said that it was good. And it still is good. It’s the way He designed us. It’s the way He wants us to live—in blessed unity with our spouse and God, a threefold cord established the moment the marriage is consummated, to death do us part.

So, yeah, what if we’re fighting the wrong way? What if the only way we can reverse the effects the enemy has on our culture is not by shunning the things Satan has misaligned and redefined but by taking them back to the way they were intended to be?

*sighs* I don’t know. Maybe this doesn’t make sense. Maybe this is just my wacky way of lashing out at people who dis me for writing romance and wanting to get married. Or maybe not. I guess that’s up to God. And up to you how you take all this nonsense of mine.

But I’ll tell you this, and I know this for sure. God designed us male and female, and we came out of the womb exactly the way He wanted us. God designed us heterosexual, and there is no other way to be. God designed us to cleave to one person of the opposite sex for the rest of our lives, to live with them, to serve with them, to grow in our faith with them, to worship God with them, and to raise children with them.

I’m not afraid of romance. I’m not disgusted by it. I’m not made to worship God by being a lonely virgin for the rest of my life (even though, yes, that sounds like the easy way out sometimes).

I’m made to worship God by loving my husband one day. Why? Because marriage is a reflection of God’s relationship with us. The love between a man and his wife is a reflection of God’s love for us. Marital sex is a reflection of God’s intimacy with His Bride.

Yes, Paul said that the single are blessed because they can devote all of their heart, mind, soul, and strength to God and to serving Him. And, yes, there are some people who, like Paul, are set apart for God in a way few others are.

But that’s a calling He places on your heart. Not a choice you make simply because you think marriage and sex are somehow bad.

Me personally? I’m not called to be single. I’m called to be a wife and a mother, and I’m going to embrace that calling and the way I was made.

So what’s the key takeaway from this crazy rant? Um…well, if you walk away from this with anything, let it be that JESUS HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD. And that we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood or anything of this earth—we wrestle with the enemy and his forces of darkness in a spiritual battle.

Bookishly (and rantishly) yours,


100 views14 comments

Recent Posts

See All

14 ความคิดเห็น

Hannah Killian
16 ก.ย. 2564

Oof, I know how you feel. Sometimes I think people take Paul's words at face-value or to the extreme and they don't stop to consider that THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT GOD HAS ORDAINED FOR THEIR LIVES. *cough*

When it comes to the no-touchy before engagement or even marriage, I completely understand! But when people take it to the extreme, like being uncomfortable when a paramedic (A PARAMEDIC) does his job and checks out a woman who was in an accident to make sure she's not seriously hurt, then...yeah. Emergency situations like that, it just doesn't make sense. This is probably why pastors preach on Song of Solomon being allegory when it's actually love poetry about marriage and sex REDEEMED. (The…

Grace A. Johnson
Grace A. Johnson
16 ก.ย. 2564

Exactly!!! I'm so glad you agree with me!!

Yeah, sometimes people really go overboard and I just don't get it!

Yes!! (Really? Interesting! Yeah, I definitely think there are some allegorical elements - which is kind of the whole point of marriage and intimacy anyway - but I agree! Most of it is plainly poetry!)

(Ooh...good question...I'll have to do my research!)

Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Hannah!


Daisy Torres
15 ก.ย. 2564

Ohh Gracie, this was actually a literal breath of fresh air.


I love when people lay down what the BIBLE says and redirects the focus of people who get sidetracked by everything else and who feel like they have to push their thoughts and life onto others. This was honestly so refreshing, and you know, you're right!

Jesus HAS overcome the world!! So whether it's politics, or topics that are horrible like abortion, or any number of the terrible things that go on in the world, it's always wonderful to remember that YES. Jesus has overcome it all. Thank you so much for writing this post!!!

When I was like 6, I told God I didn't want to…

Grace A. Johnson
Grace A. Johnson
23 ก.ย. 2564

You're welcome!!

It is!!! <333


Kristina Hall
14 ก.ย. 2564

Rants are the best!!

Grace A. Johnson
Grace A. Johnson
14 ก.ย. 2564

I certainly think so!


Joelle Stone
14 ก.ย. 2564


Someone actually sees this the way I do?


I'm the type of person who is either "meh" about a subject or ridiculously passionate about it - this is a passionate subject. I get sick to my stomach when my non-Christian friends talk about dating or "cuddling" or show me pictures of them kissing their boyfriend. It honestly makes me want to force them to listen to a rant about purity. XD I've personally made a commitment not to date until I'm at least seventeen, and to hold off from anything physical that goes beyond a hug until I'm married. If that happens.

As for calling... I don't think I've ever thought about the choice of being married or…

Grace A. Johnson
Grace A. Johnson
14 ก.ย. 2564

Yes. Someone does.

Same here! I honestly don't know if I'll ever date. I'm one of them old school courtin' gals. ;)

I definitely see staying single as a calling - because making that choice is dedicating your entire life to Christ and whatever He wants you to do. Paul talks a lot about it in Romans, I think. (May have been one of the Corinthians, though.)

You're so so so so so so so welcome! I probably will - but you know what I always say? If the world doesn't like it, it must be right! Thank you!!!


Issabelle P.
14 ก.ย. 2564

Aaaahhh another AMAZING post, Grace!!!!!!!! *high fives* Yes, I COMPLETELY agree that there is nothing wrong with romance and marriage and the like when done in a way pleasing to God. That brought to mind a sermon I heard once from Chip Ingram about a similar topic. I mean, I heard it when I was like 12, so I don't remember a lot in it, but it was along the same lines. Also, I agree that maybe that's the way to fight against the evil in this world, by presenting how it's supposed to be. Which is actually something similar to something that's been on my heart lately. Not exactly about the marriage thing, but about lots of other things…

Grace A. Johnson
Grace A. Johnson
14 ก.ย. 2564

Thank you!!!! Yes! I'm so glad you agree!!!! Yes, it definitely applies to other things - that was just the one subject I was really thinking hard about! (Of course! <333)


subscribe for more

thank you for subscribing!

bottom of page