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  • Writer's pictureGrace A. Johnson

What If...We're Fighting the Wrong Way?

I’m going to begin this post with a warning. Y’all will probably need it, trust me.

This post will hurt some feelings, step on some toes, possibly tick a few people if you find your toes begin to cramp as you read this post, I’d advise you to step away (or, I mean, if you can take it, keep reading, just do so only with the intention of learning more about my opinions rather than starting an argument).

This post will definitely be a rant, and as such I cannot guarantee it will make any sense whatsoever. Very few of my thoughts or feelings do.

This post is written from the perspective of a die-hard romantic who believes in the importance of marriage and sex—so excuse me if I’m biased in some way, misinterpret something, or present a view that doesn’t align with yours. These are my feelings. My thoughts. The burden on my heart. And I had to get it out somehow. I’m only sharing this because I believe that I’m not the only one (or at least I hope I’m not) who feels this way, because I hope to generate awareness for those whose views differ from the vast majority, and because someone out there may have never seen things from this perspective and this post may be an eye-opener for them.

Now, without further ado, I present my ranting, offensive thoughts. * bows *

We live in a sexualized culture. A culture that doesn’t value purity—in fact, it makes fun of purity, virginity, and abstinence as if there’s no reason for them to exist. A culture that has “redefined” marriage to mean whatever you want it to mean. A culture that insists that your body has no other purpose than to be used and defiled. A culture that not only allows but supports procedures that realign the way God made you. A culture that pushes their agenda on three-year-olds.

There is no doubt in my mind that this...y’all, this is more vile and wicked than anything the world has seen before.

But how do we, as Christians, combat this?

I don’t know about you, but I have seen an increasing amount of young Christians who shun marriage, who idolize the concept of purity, and who are revolted by the idea of God-ordained romance.

Now, this isn’t everyone. Everyone fights this kind of evil in a different way—some by staying quiet, some by condemnation, and others by doing a complete 180. And I’m not saying those methods are ineffective or even inherently wrong. I’m just wondering..

What if we’re fighting the wrong way?

We are so consumed by the idea that we must fight against the culture, push against the world, and break away from those who disagree with the Word of God. But that’s not what God has called us to do. He didn’t command us to fight people or even the government. He said to love your neighbor and respect authority. He said that our battle isn’t with flesh and blood or corrupt politicians and laws. He said we wrestle with powers and principalities, the rulers of the darkness of this world, and spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6.12).

More than that, He said that we should take heart. Why? Because He has overcome the world.

Not will overcome. He already has. It’s done. The world has been overcome.

So then what are we supposed to do?

Live like it.

Instead of living in direct conflict with the world, why don’t we start living as if there is no conflict? As if there is no world?

I told you this wouldn’t make any sense.

Let me backtrack.

Instead of being against romantic love as God created it, not getting married, and viewing sex as thoroughly evil, why don’t we give the world an example of how God created us to live? Why don’t we go back to the Garden of Eden, where it was one man and one woman, united in love and God-ordained marriage?

My point is this: God made romantic love. God made marriage. God made sex.

He created those things. And it was good. That’s what He said. He looked down upon this amazing life He gave us—a wonderful gift that only exists here in this lifetime—and said that it was good. And it still is good. It’s the way He designed us. It’s the way He wants us to live—in blessed unity with our spouse and God, a threefold cord established the moment the marriage is consummated, to death do us part.

So, yeah, what if we’re fighting the wrong way? What if the only way we can reverse the effects the enemy has on our culture is not by shunning the things Satan has misaligned and redefined but by taking them back to the way they were intended to be?

*sighs* I don’t know. Maybe this doesn’t make sense. Maybe this is just my wacky way of lashing out at people who dis me for writing romance and wanting to get married. Or maybe not. I guess that’s up to God. And up to you how you take all this nonsense of mine.

But I’ll tell you this, and I know this for sure. God designed us male and female, and we came out of the womb exactly the way He wanted us. God designed us heterosexual, and there is no other way to be. God designed us to cleave to one person of the opposite sex for the rest of our lives, to live with them, to serve with them, to grow in our faith with them, to worship God with them, and to raise children with them.

I’m not afraid of romance. I’m not disgusted by it. I’m not made to worship God by being a lonely virgin for the rest of my life (even though, yes, that sounds like the easy way out sometimes).

I’m made to worship God by loving my husband one day. Why? Because marriage is a reflection of God’s relationship with us. The love between a man and his wife is a reflection of God’s love for us. Marital sex is a reflection of God’s intimacy with His Bride.

Yes, Paul said that the single are blessed because they can devote all of their heart, mind, soul, and strength to God and to serving Him. And, yes, there are some people who, like Paul, are set apart for God in a way few others are.

But that’s a calling He places on your heart. Not a choice you make simply because you think marriage and sex are somehow bad.

Me personally? I’m not called to be single. I’m called to be a wife and a mother, and I’m going to embrace that calling and the way I was made.

So what’s the key takeaway from this crazy rant? Um…well, if you walk away from this with anything, let it be that JESUS HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD. And that we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood or anything of this earth—we wrestle with the enemy and his forces of darkness in a spiritual battle.

Bookishly (and rantishly) yours,


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